EMeww

First Name Grouchy, Last Name Pants

2009-05-05T10:16:00.000-07:00

I am such a grouchy pants right now. My big work project is almost done, but I'm already late on the next one, and my team isn't giving me the good info....work with me people!
We are also in group project land for school, so that is always *interesting.
Plus I find all the swine flu stuff annoying. I'm seriously thinking about taking a vacation day just to lay around and read...non HW reading...doesn't that sound divine! I really need a lounge chair for the deck. ;)

Oh, and I'm reading an article about Numerati...interesting but kind of annoying, too...

At least now that things are slowing done *some, I have started exercising more & even signed up for some classes...one started Sat & one starts in June, woooooot. Next week, if the last week of school isn't too crazy, I might even go to an old class I have only been to maybe one in the last 6+ months...so, hopefully all these endorphins will turn my frown upside down.

It's all relative/out of the storm?

2009-04-22T09:08:00.000-07:00

I am feeling SO MUCH BETTER this week. I would still say I'm incredibly busy, but really it's not that bad compared to the last 2 months!

I got the horrible piece of my work project done about 2 weeks ago, & we just had a major milestone on Monday. Of course, things could still go wrong, but I feel like things are ramping down...I'm starting to get a big sense of accomplishment, bc this is somewhat of a stretch project for me, and I think I've done pretty well (if I do say so myself)!

I had to ask for an extension for one of my classes, though, during that time, but I got that caught up, too. I have given up on the reading, but I will do what I can to stay current...I just know I can't read every page I've missed during that period.

So, I have been able to focus my energy on some fun (yet somewhat expensive) personal things like some home projects. That just adds to me feeling like I'm settling into my groove.

I hope my management team sees it, because our promotion cycle is coming up soon! Wish me luck!

Somewhere....Out There

2009-04-13T20:46:00.000-07:00

OK, I'm being selfish/self-centered/lonely here...if you have read ANY of this blog, write a comment, even if it is just 'hi'.

:P

Gone are the days when RA meant Resident Assistant

2009-02-26T07:41:00.000-08:00

Let's go back to a simpler time when a naive 18 year old checked into a dorm room for the first time. Barely knowing anyone in the state, there to greet everyone was an RA. Sure, we never were super close, but it was nice to have some organization in that hall of excited freshman.

Fast forward to about 3 years ago. Now working full-time, I left my first organization. Shortly after, the RA's began...except this time they were "resource actions." I was sad for my friends and sad that I was not really in the loop now that I was gone.

Then, about 2.5 years ago, it was the first time we had an RA in my current department. I think that was only contractors, but it's not like it isn't still emotional for them AND us. We thought it was a matter of time before all the contractors were gone, but only one remained...the one with whom I was closest...

In the last month my area had RA's again, only this time it was "regular" employees. Since this is my 3rd time through, you would think I would handle it better. I'm afraid, though, that I am BY FAR handling this one the worst. Sure *I* am safe, but so many emails are flooding my inbox with "farewells". Some of the friendliest people I've met around here are now gone. Some of the people that did not let this work environment get them down....well, I guess now it has. :( This one has really bothered me because of how far-reaching it is. Also, because of the economy, I know these folks will have a harder time finding a new job than in the past.

Even in a selfish sense, I do not feel I can rejoice at keeping my job. This whole experience has made it harder to put in those extra hours knowing that you are just a number and possible a "cost savings" to those above you. I mean, sure, I realize that a company is here to make profit, but I think from Dr. Lewis's class I learned a lot about how to value knowledge workers & how to keep the work force productive during an RA. I have not yet seen that around here. I keep waiting for it to happen, and I hope that it will once this "final week" is over. Once everyone is gone, I really hope things get better, but I fear this is just the beginning of very tough times...."do more with less"...sure, we always hear that, but I feel like it will be felt more than ever.

Besides work, my life couldn't be much better. So, I feel like it is harder and harder to neglect my personal life to get ahead on my projects/career. How do you keep going, knowing that you could be next if you don't? How do you not let your job interfere with your personal life when you know you are expected to work the extra hours...walk the path your predecessors have worn down before you...? If you could afford to live off of your spouse's income, do you think an RA would hit you less hard or is it still the emotion of feeling rejection?

I think it is interesting how different areas handle it. For example, we still get bonuses here, etc. but have RA. My friend's company they just forced everyone across the board to take a 10% cut (wonder how high up that goes, tho!)...just heard on the news last night that there is a local co. that laid off 25% then gave execs a raise...Can anyone think how this can be justified, because it just makes me sick?

year one wrap up

2009-01-16T09:19:00.000-08:00

So, I'm done with my 1st of 2 years. Do I get to call myself a senior now?! ;)

Last semester was definitely much more stressful for me. My workload was higher, my personal life was busier, and the Econ/Finance just isn't intuitive to me like the Spring classes were. So, I made my first B, but I am still very happy with my overall GPA.

At one point I honestly thought I'd get a C, even though I studied way harder than I had to in the Spring, but luckily there were some curves in Econ. Dr. Duvic was nice enough to give us an optional assignment (to raise our grade), but I chose not to participate. I would have to get a higher grade on that than anything else I had done to just go up a .33 in my GPA for that class. Plus, I was so exhausted, and I wanted to start enjoying the Christmas season! I LOVE CHRISTMAS, and I had to prepare for the 9 hour trek to my parents' house. I had also used up some vacation to do papers/studying, so I had fewer days left for this Christmas and lots of work/personal things to play catch up on!

I hope all my other classmates got a nice break & are refreshed to hit the ground running next week!

Almost half way!

2008-12-12T21:46:00.000-08:00

So, I took a test yesterday & my last test today. I would normally be doing the happy dance, but I still have 1-2 things due. (Let this be a lesson to not schedule a meelion things right after finals, JUST IN CASE, your profs are nice & let you have some cushion to turn in your final assignments. Also, let this be a lesson that group papers "across area codes" are painful & require that extra time.)

Soooo, hopefully I can check back in soon on how it feels to be half way through the program! ....also possibly my crazy workout craze...stay tuned

Taking Econ in a failing economy

2008-11-25T08:53:00.000-08:00

Wow, what a crazy time we are going through. We are at war, going into a recession & changing presidents. I think Obama has his hands full, and if he can pull this off, I have that much more respect for him.

Anywho, I think it's cool I happen to be in econ right now. I don't know a ton about the subject (as is reflected by my grade!) :P However, I am getting a better feel for things than I would were I NOT in school right now. (Otherwise, when the news gets too sad, I shut it off.) Anyway, we watched a tape last month where the theorist thought we might go back to the standard of living during the American Revolution. I honestly don't think I know what that even means.

I mean, considering the amount of $ I make, I think I live pretty simply. For example, I could afford a lot nicer house, and we don't even have cable (just internet, which we're both in tech...). Of course, I have a small car loan & student loans, so if the sh*t really hits the fan, it could be scary. I just feel like young Americans aren't willing to live within their means anymore. Young couples live beyond both of their salaries instead of just living off one & paying off loans. Trust me, I'm not judging individuals. Heck, I make twice what some of my classmates make, and I still haven't paid off my loans. I'm not even close on my student loans! It's like you just accept that that is a normal monthly bill?

Anyway, I really hope that we don't cut back on education, but I'm already seeing student loan lenders tightening down. So, if you are poor you don't deserve a good education? Won't that just make things worse?

While the tone of this blog may seem negative...writing it makes me realize how blessed we truly are. People are worried about their retirement, but in other countries people worry about their children dying from starvation. Maybe this tough time will make us realize that "things" are not our priority, but rather people. I think depression-era folks got this, and my generation may get a reality check. Have the economic predictions made you re-assess your priorities?

Election Day

2008-11-04T19:14:00.000-08:00

Did you vote today? I did. I know early votes were at a record high, but I was out of town last week. That also means the week before my trip was crazy, trying to catch up so I didn't have to take my work laptop on vacation.

There is somewhat of a thrill, however, in voting on election day. Despite the rumors, the lines in my precinct were non-existent. I felt a little guilty not researching the local issues, so I didn't both voting for most of them.

I am hoping to keep this blog fairly neutral, but how exciting is it that either way, history will be made today? (hopefully it won't stretch out like the 1st Bush election, ick!) We will either have the first woman VP, the highest ranking woman in our federal gov't's history, or we will have the first African American president. For awhile, Hillary even had a good run of being the first female candidate on a major ticket. Even though she was not my favorite, I hope it is still indicative of progress. I think living in Austin, we take open mindedness (is that a word?) for granted, but I'm constantly amazed at how backwards many Americans are...

For example, there are still so many people thinking that "we are in Iraq, bc Iraq did 9/11"...ugggghhhh, try again! Of course, there is also the nuclear arms theory. I believe when we invaded, the UN had marked Iraq as the 42nd most likely to arm...obviously, nothing was found, and in the meantime other countries DID develop programs...but by then it was too late to back out...was a good way to get us to back the war though, eh?

So, if you are reading this blog, I would guess you either stumbled upon it or are thinking of starting a CLEE program in 2009 or 2010. In that case, you probably won't have a presidential election while you are doing your masters. How has being in school affected this election for me? I admittedly have had less time to track the issues, projections, etc...My beliefs made one of the 2 candidates the obvious choice for me, however, so I am not too worried about that. As I mentioned before, it kept me from tracking any local issues. To be fair, I would've been way more focused on the presidential race, anyway. I feel like this is an election we will be telling our grand kids about! This probably lowered my pre-election stress, too. ;)

By the time you read this, you should know the outcome, but I wanted to capture the excitement & anticipation I am feeling at 9:26pm CT on election night!

A student

2008-10-23T11:16:00.000-07:00

I've always been an A student. Sure, I've made a few bad grades here & there, but in HS all of my "grades that count" were 4.0 or (AP) 5.0, and I made all A's, graduating with a 4.2.
In college, I made my first B's, but still graduated with about a 3.7, which is a little above an A- average, since we had +/- system. In both HS & college I was involved more than the average student, so I was used to juggling things, even though I only worked part time...
In a weird way, I think my GPA is part of my identity. Even when I started this program, I started making A's. For my employer, I also have to maintain a certain GPA, so that I may continue my masters, which makes the pressure even higher.
If I had to place my bets, I am going to make one B this semester. Right now I think my grade is an 84. Sure, it's not horrible, but it is very strange knowing I am in the bottom half of the class. Some of it is specific to the subject, but some of it is just my life is so crazy right now. Something has to give, so is "taking the hit" with a slightly lower GPA that big of a deal? In a way it is "logical", bc it makes more sense than being a poor performer at work (who funds my program), and I still am hoping to keep my funding based on my current grades.
I already have taken a big hit on my personal life/timing hanging out w/ my SO & friends, so I don't feel I can shave off much more time, here. This is making me seriously consider taking only one class next semester, since I have some professional goals that are put on hold right now...if I don't get to work on those during Christmas break, that might be the better decision in the long run, but I hate thinking of delaying my other plans that much longer...
So, what do you think? Is it better to just finish in the 2 years with learning slightly less & making some B's, or should I stretch it out to 3 years, which increases the risk of not finishing but also takes off some stress & allows more professional/personal focus?

Strategic Vacation?

2008-10-13T09:30:00.001-07:00

As I mentioned in my other post, sometimes I wish I'd started in the Fall. The reason why? I have had to "strategically" use my vacation, and that way I would have had 3 calendar year's vacations.

Maybe I'm not as disciplined as others, but I had to use vacation to get my summer paper done. I also just entered in 2 half days to catch up on normal homework for this week, which means less time off in December.

To my credit, I just started this job in March, so it has been harder to juggle w/ starting school in January. I am getting a lot of "opportunities" in this department...keeping my life interested. There are also a lot of exciting things going on in my personal life, but again that is a drain on my time. So, this weekend...instead of catching up on homework, I caught up on sleep! A few friends & my SO were coming down with bugs, so I took the opportunity to drink green tea, OJ & listen to my body saying, "I NEED LOTS OF SLEEP".

Even though it sucks to use vacation to do other work, I am at peace with it, and at least I don't have kids yet. I really can't imagine juggling that, too, but I know people do it! Since my SO is an engineering related job, too...I know I can't count on that schedule being any calmer than mine...so, we also broke down & hired someone to come do light cleaning every week & a deep clean 1x/mo. I feel silly having someone do this at my age, but it makes more sense than doing poorly at work or losing my funding by going under a 3.0...Do I sound spoiled?

I've had some interns live with me, before, and I actually told them to consider getting someone to do the yard/house chores if they can afford it and put more effort into establishing their professional reputation. This is against the way I was raised, but I have become more and more convinced that this is the way to go. One lady I know is moving up the ranks very quickly. I realized she could work so many hours because she takes ALL her clothes to the cleaners & never cooks. I don't want to give up cooking completely, but oddly this was a light bulb moment for me. I realized I was trying to have my father's career but keep house like my mother...not going to happen! So, I still cook nice meals when I can, and maybe I get a little behind on things, but hopefully this 1x/week housekeeper will really help us out & maybe even improve our relationship! (bc we all know arguing over laundry or toilet cleaning chores does NOT spice things up)! ;)

To Spring or to Fall?

2008-10-08T08:57:00.000-07:00

One of the reasons I liked the EM program was its flexibility to start in Spring or in Fall. I hope for my next post to be more about my selection process, but let's just say for now I looked at a VARIETY of programs.

I decided the part time MBA (@ night) didn't really appeal to me. Financially, EM made more sense for me, but I also thought I could get a scholarship to go full-time. So, I felt it was important to know if my company would fund my EM program. My mgmt chain was NOT very supportive...but I don't want to go into the details...luckily I scraped in and got approved. I think it was the week of orientation...PHEW! I was so stressed, but I was glad to know I got the $$$.
For everyone, full or part time is a very personal decision, but I still have undergrad loans. I felt like by applying for a January-start, it forced the issue w/ my mgmt but gave me some time to still apply to full time if needed. Now I'm even more confident in my decision to keep working (and making $$$), than I was then.

Anyway, I losing focus & getting into the other blog I wanted to post...so, here is what I will say is the advantages and disadvantages of starting in Spring. Basically, Fall qualities are the opposite, so I'm sure you can figure it out. ;)

Pro Spring:
course-load--some say this is the easiest, so you can ease in (Fall starters, this is your last reg. semester); if you have any interest in PMI certification, this class will help you. If you are already certified then this will give you 40 credit hours!)
December graduation--something about August graduation seems anticlimactic to me
starting sooner--for me it meant not having to wait, but this could apply to either...most people apply to programs in the Fall, though...so I'm guessing more feel this way...once you've taken the plunge of GMAT/GRE, etc. you are READY to get that degree, yeehaw!!!
Thesis due in Fall--of course you can start your thesis early, but most people do it during the summer. If you start in the Fall, yours is due in August, and we have some extra cushion. Of course, that means you have to balance your thesis & your classes...YUCK!

Cons:
2 calendar years only--if you can claim the tuition on taxes or use work vacation to help work load, then you might want to do Fall
only one break--with the continuous semesters, you only get a break @ Christmas, and Spring starters only have one Christmas break. Hopefully you have more stamina than me! zzz
summer project "uncertainty"--You will only have one semester of classes before selecting your summer project. I felt like I needed more info. This also means you only know 2 profs, so you will probably limit yourself to them being your advisor. It also makes it harder to know what is an appropriate topic, and what are more areas of reasearch to choose from (such as various professor's specialty research areas...)
cohort rotation--this can be plus or minus...but if you start in the spring, your "pair cohort" is about to graduate...you can learn from them, but then you also learn a new set of folks in the Fall, that you will stick w/ until graduation...The "seniors" are already bonded & confident, so you may not feel like you are as vocal as you normally are...Fall starters get to meet the classmates they will be w/ for most of the program.

I think this is getting too long, so I'm going to wrap it up. If you are anxious to start, I think either Fall or Spring have their merits, so go for it! This is just for the hem and haw-ers, or the overly analytical (like me)!

Drilling in Alaskan Reserves

2008-10-07T12:00:00.000-07:00

Just some food for thought...here is a statistic that I stumbled upon today, and I love me some statistics!

According to a New York Times article, making bottles to meet Americans' demand for bottled water requires more than 1.5 million barrels of oil annually, enough to fuel some 100,000 cars for a year!

Wow! I know that there is more oil than that in Alaska, but do we really need to threaten environmentally sensitive areas, when it will take awhile to take advantage of them? Hopefully one of my petro-eng. classmates can give me their take on this!

I mean, 100,000 cars just from the AMERICAN usage of water bottles...wow...I will admit to have 3 "drinks" on my table....2 are water bottles that I reused from the fountain and now will recycle--of those 1 was from a team party but one was from the cafe--I also have a mug I've been using for the last 3 weeks for my water....which is probably really gross, and I am now going to take home and WASH but bring back!

Call me a tree hugger if you want, but I feel I am fairly moderate on most issues, but maybe fairly ignorant as well. I need to read up more on this from "less political" perspectives. Do you know of any good sources that estimates the amount we can tap in protected Alaskan reserves?

My crazy Friday

2008-10-06T07:52:00.000-07:00

So, I thought I would catch up on homework this weekend....I have something to do every weekend, but our friends canceled their trip to the beach, since they have horrible ?colds?. You know what they say about the best laid plans...
I decided to move closer to work/school, etc. I had been moving a bit at a time after work, but still had quite a bit to do the day the renter moved in. My SO took the whole day off, and I was going to take the afternoon off to wrap things up and take some of the stress down a notch. I am SO excited to be moving into Austin, but moving always sucks, especially when moving into a smaller residence. (Luckily I found a good non-profit to take some no-longer-wanted furniture...contact CASA if you have the same situation...) Anyway, I get a call @ 11 am that one of my pets is "falling over"/"falling asleep standing up". My pets are my babies, so at first I am thinking...maybe it's not that bad? Of course, I had left my cell in the old house the night before, so I had to just sit in my office & wait for them to call back...The call was they wanted him to go to the vet. :-\
I could go into all the details, but let's just say it was scary & frustrating, but my cutie pie is now totally fine. We don't know what happened, and he was no longer falling over by the time the vet saw him, but I am still really concerned to leave him alone, in case he is developing a seizure disorder of some sort. (I am a techie...don't really understand medicine!) Well, the first Dr. didn't help much @ all, and that was $2o0, and the overnight hospitalization was an additional $600. My buddy is totally worth it but what a shock! I just feel blessed that I have the extra $ right now with the renter paying me that same day! I am also glad someone was around when he started to get sick, bc I was at work. In retrospect, he probably would've made it, bc all they did was give him fluids (treatment-wise). If you are as obsessed with your pets as me, though, you know this is still a scary thought. Not every co-worker would understand wanting to work from home more often "just in case my dog falls over". Luckily my team lead rocks & is similarly in love with her puppy! ;)
So, if you have pets, make sure to give them a little extra love today before you head to work. :-D

Shakespeare I am not

2008-07-11T10:00:00.000-07:00

OK, so I know you can't really compare a 20 page research paper to a classic play, but I guess I am feeling a tad dramatic! Today I am really hating myself for my slow progress on my paper. By slow I mean, I am probably only a third of a way through my research and I present in 2 WEEKS!

I wish I could say I never have done this before, but it is a little bit of my style. This time it is extra bad, since work was INSANE in June, and it ate up all my energy. My standard of how I looked/ate/lived/related to friends was at an all time low, so I know it was not JUST procrastination. Also, for all of you Myers-Briggs types out there. I am a strong 'N'. So, I tend to figure everything out in my head then work more quickly than most on the producing side. Usually I am blessed with fewer drafts than most, but I also have burned myself on waiting too long, like I fear I am doing right now. My ideas seem to be flowing, with pretty good articles to back it up, but I need to allow time for the reading & typing...Is this the typical engineer?

Luckily, one of the lectures at our summer conference explained this is typical of my personality type, and 'N's need to create sub-deadlines for themselves. Well, I missed my first deadline due to work, so now I'm in denial. As I type this, however, I have a new conviction to re-write those deadlines and "get over it". (my favorite phrase)

I wonder if the other masters programs have a similar 20 then 30 page paper requirement to graduate. So far I have loved classes, but I have a feeling this won't be my last day of whining about writing. Can't I just go back to discussing interesting articles (Dr.Lewis's class) or working problems with #'s (Dr.McCann)? Maybe I am an engineer after all, but some days I wonder when I feel I don't 'fit the mold'.

Well, for those of you in TX, I hope you are finding a way to keep cool. At least this crap weather is motivating me to stay inside (and on my computer).

Cheers!

Caffeine free--3 days

2008-06-25T10:02:00.000-07:00

(written on Wednesday)

Last Friday I was my first day not having a Coke.

1) I was working at home, so I couldn't hit the vending machines
2) I don't like the addiction factor--was starting to get headaches in the morning & was excited
to drive into work to get my fix!
3) Had a dr's apptmt where she 'hinted' I should loose 16 pounds...
OK, so I totally disagree with this assessment, but I know I have puffed out noticeably
since my Coke habit started. I refuse to buy new clothes, so despite refusing to 'diet'...I thought cutting back on Coke was a nice middle ground. (I've also increased my exercise
slightly.)

Obviously it has been more than 3 days, but I really only decided to go ahead on Monday when I realized I hadn't died from 2 days caffeine-free. (Note: I have NOT given up chocolate...that could cause violence!)

So, when school starts back in August, the temptation of free beverages may not be resisted...but I think that is OK...It is hard to work about 4 10 hours days then sit in class all day Friday/Saturday...I just don't want it to be a daily habit. Sound fair, or am I just justifying my habit?

Getting started

2008-05-16T08:48:00.000-07:00

I finally have my own blog! I confess, I resisted it at first. There seems to be a voyeuristic quality to all the networking groups, but I admit to be hooked to them.

This blog will journal my journeys through starting a new job, starting my masters and all that radiates from my subsequent lack of (quality) sleep. I hope you enjoy, and let me know if you have any specific topics that may be of interest to prospectives.